Comments on: Empathy http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/ Walking the streets of Bombay Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:51:32 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Me http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-20 Me Wed, 11 Mar 2009 06:42:43 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-20 "@Me" - Waise, you can use my name, if you want to! I just tend to use 'Me' while signing off my emails... and commenting on the couple of friends' blogs I've commented on! :) Am definitely going to follow your blog. Comment? Let's see! :) Oh, and I have always had a bit of a soft corner for cops, so I'm glad you wrote the post you did. Yes, I had a not-so-pleasant experience shuru mein that day but I refuse to see many/most cops as insensitive/unhelpful or so. :) “@Me” – Waise, you can use my name, if you want to! I just tend to use ‘Me’ while signing off my emails… and commenting on the couple of friends’ blogs I’ve commented on! :)

Am definitely going to follow your blog. Comment? Let’s see! :)

Oh, and I have always had a bit of a soft corner for cops, so I’m glad you wrote the post you did.

Yes, I had a not-so-pleasant experience shuru mein that day but I refuse to see many/most cops as insensitive/unhelpful or so. :)

]]> By: Nishant http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-18 Nishant Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:49:30 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-18 Very interesting post and experience, one that in part was facilitated by your willingness to "empathize" and the attempt to communicate (not to discredit their friendly attitude that probably encouraged you to extend the same courtesy). While my personal experience also reeks of the unpleasant "you are the villain here for having lost your wallet" smell, I do hope I come across the flavour you did someday, but I am sure it won't happen until I enter a police-station with a more humble and less intimidated outlook in general, and not with the one we saw Abhishek Bachhan's character adopt in Delhi 6 - "you don't give me shit because you are a public servant" (not that I approve of the policeman character in the movie! Dubeyji deserved what he got on that occasion). I guess the point I am trying to make is the same as yours - that respect, patience and a smile can go a long way if one is willing to invest it, and empathize. That even we tend to dismiss our experience at a police station as a doomed one even before we enter one, and any exchange that starts on the wrong foot is almost inevitably headed south, literally from the word "Go!" Very interesting post and experience, one that in part was facilitated by your willingness to “empathize” and the attempt to communicate (not to discredit their friendly attitude that probably encouraged you to extend the same courtesy). While my personal experience also reeks of the unpleasant “you are the villain here for having lost your wallet” smell, I do hope I come across the flavour you did someday, but I am sure it won’t happen until I enter a police-station with a more humble and less intimidated outlook in general, and not with the one we saw Abhishek Bachhan’s character adopt in Delhi 6 – “you don’t give me shit because you are a public servant” (not that I approve of the policeman character in the movie! Dubeyji deserved what he got on that occasion). I guess the point I am trying to make is the same as yours – that respect, patience and a smile can go a long way if one is willing to invest it, and empathize. That even we tend to dismiss our experience at a police station as a doomed one even before we enter one, and any exchange that starts on the wrong foot is almost inevitably headed south, literally from the word “Go!”

]]> By: tathagata http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-17 tathagata Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:47:56 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-17 @Me - Thanks. I appreciate your comment especially since you dont usually comment on blogs. :) And your story is funny and depressing. And the usual fare dished out at police stations across the city. That is the face of the police service that most citizens see; so, I thought it would be good to highlight that there is another 'face' too, albeit one which is not seen very often. I hope to see you around, waise. And maybe with comments too? :) @Me –

Thanks. I appreciate your comment especially since you dont usually comment on blogs. :)

And your story is funny and depressing. And the usual fare dished out at police stations across the city. That is the face of the police service that most citizens see; so, I thought it would be good to highlight that there is another ‘face’ too, albeit one which is not seen very often.

I hope to see you around, waise. And maybe with comments too? :)

]]> By: tathagata http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-16 tathagata Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:43:02 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-16 @Vikash - I agree that it is not all nice and touchy-feely good. There is corruption, no nay-saying that, about which there is enough being written and spoken about. I was only trying to highlight that there are positives, and that it is not all doomsday dreary. It is important to keep sight of the positives too, I don't think we do enough of that except during special situations like 26/11. @Vikash –

I agree that it is not all nice and touchy-feely good. There is corruption, no nay-saying that, about which there is enough being written and spoken about.

I was only trying to highlight that there are positives, and that it is not all doomsday dreary. It is important to keep sight of the positives too, I don’t think we do enough of that except during special situations like 26/11.

]]> By: Me http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-15 Me Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:24:20 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-15 Nice post. :) Sorry about the loss though. And yeah, 40 minutes IS FAST! Guess how long I spent at a police station 2 years ago to get my FIR filed... 8 hours. Shuru ke couple of hours toh they spent in dissuading me from filing an FIR. For 15 air tickets that were fraudulently booked on my credit card (one that I had never lost or misplaced)... around one lac rupees ka fraud tha. The cop who did most of the dissuading said I should simply write a letter to them instead (saves them a lot of investigation, follow-up and court work); said "aapki shaadi ho jaayegi phir bhi aapko court aana padega" etc... and when his attempts failed, he yelled in front of the other cops "Sakar paasun doka khaate"! The younger cop who wrote the FIR was sweet. :) Seemed like this police station hadn't dealt with a cyber crime case before, so it took longer to write it. Oh, by the way, see? I commented on your blog. I rarely do that! :) Nice post. :)

Sorry about the loss though.

And yeah, 40 minutes IS FAST!

Guess how long I spent at a police station 2 years ago to get my FIR filed…

8 hours.

Shuru ke couple of hours toh they spent in dissuading me from filing an FIR. For 15 air tickets that were fraudulently booked on my credit card (one that I had never lost or misplaced)… around one lac rupees ka fraud tha.

The cop who did most of the dissuading said I should simply write a letter to them instead (saves them a lot of investigation, follow-up and court work); said “aapki shaadi ho jaayegi phir bhi aapko court aana padega” etc… and when his attempts failed, he yelled in front of the other cops “Sakar paasun doka khaate”!

The younger cop who wrote the FIR was sweet. :)

Seemed like this police station hadn’t dealt with a cyber crime case before, so it took longer to write it.

Oh, by the way, see? I commented on your blog. I rarely do that! :)

]]> By: vikash http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-14 vikash Tue, 10 Mar 2009 10:35:16 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-14 too optimistic of a post. :) Just today only one autowala was telling me, how the policemen ask money instead of official fine, if they caught for meter-manipulation and how every auto stand needs to pay a fixed amount to the nearby police station. And he was not the first one. So, I'll say that policeman's behavior depends on the social status of the person whom he is talking to. I wonder if he would have treated a not-so-intellectual person in a same way. I read somewhere that a person character is decided by how he is with the people of lower rank because, with higher ranks he has to be good. too optimistic of a post. :) Just today only one autowala was telling me, how the policemen ask money instead of official fine, if they caught for meter-manipulation and how every auto stand needs to pay a fixed amount to the nearby police station. And he was not the first one.

So, I’ll say that policeman’s behavior depends on the social status of the person whom he is talking to. I wonder if he would have treated a not-so-intellectual person in a same way.

I read somewhere that a person character is decided by how he is with the people of lower rank because, with higher ranks he has to be good.

]]> By: tathagata http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-13 tathagata Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:23:31 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-13 @Neha: Thanks.:) And this does happen, right? The cops do help out, and are really nice - it is not all dreary and dark. @Neha:
Thanks.:) And this does happen, right? The cops do help out, and are really nice – it is not all dreary and dark.

]]> By: Girl http://www.maninbombay.com/2009/03/10/empathy/comment-page-1/#comment-12 Girl Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:05:52 +0000 http://www.maninbombay.com/?p=57#comment-12 Very Nice :) Reminds me of this one time when I had gone to Matunga police station very close by my college for attesting my mark-sheets and the officer who was going to do it asked me so many things about my future plans and how I had scored better in some and not so better in some..He was concerned which college I could get into for which subjects :) Very Nice :)
Reminds me of this one time when I had gone to Matunga police station very close by my college for attesting my mark-sheets and the officer who was going to do it asked me so many things about my future plans and how I had scored better in some and not so better in some..He was concerned which college I could get into for which subjects :)

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